How To Feel Validated When Art is Subjective

There’s nothing like the thrill of your first published book or getting a publishing contract to make you feel like you’re on top of the world. The excitement and adrenaline rush from accomplishing a dream goal are hypnotic until after the book is out in the world. Maybe faced with mediocre reviews, being dropped by a publisher or agent—it’s part of the business, and it’s hard. So hard. Writing is an art, and art is subjective. How many times has an author heard this reminder when things aren’t going as planned?

It doesn’t matter what level of success is achieved; negativity hovers like a bad Odam.

Whatever step in publishing an author is experiencing, there are times when it feels like an accomplishment is not enough. It doesn’t matter how many books are sold or how many good reviews one has, it’s an on-going struggle. 

​Best-selling rom-com author Meredith Schorr says that for her, feeling like her level of accomplishment is not enough stems from not having another book contract right now. “While drafting my work-in-progress, it's challenging to push down the doubts that I won't get another deal because of my sales track, not being a good enough writer, etc. It feels a bit like starting over.” She added that imposter syndrome is real, telling herself her earlier books were a fluke or that she just got lucky. 

It’s hard to feel self-doubt. It’s art, and it’s personal, especially when there have been accomplishments. 

​Fantasy and romance author, Shameez Patel

( Papathanasiou ) says, “social media makes it far too easy to compare our struggles with the wins we see posted on Instagram, etc. It's impossible to know how many late nights were spent crying, or how many rejections other authors received, when all you see are their accolades being posted. It's easy to feel as though you're the only one who is struggling. Added to that is the fast-paced industry where the goal posts keep moving, and days after your novel is published, it feels like old news and time to write the next best-seller.”

When this happens, one can feel like they’re not enough. It’s hard to feel validated and move past the negative thoughts.

Tracy Wideman, a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) and Certified Canadian Counsellor (CCC) with a private practice in Vancouver, BC, says, “It is very human to feel not enough. Often, a part of us holds strong opinions and interpretations about our worth. It helps to humanize that part and to understand it within the broader systems that benefit from us feeling inadequate.” She explains that a helpful practice is to personify it. “To give form to the character that carries these extreme thoughts and digs into your worthiness. Often this is a self-critical voice with a well-intended strategy: to protect another part of you that fears being exposed as an imposter. You can speak to it directly and say, I see how concerned you are about me being good enough. That makes sense…you’re trying to push me forward and protect me.”

When an artist feels this way, Wideman says to let that dominant character know it doesn’t need to carry this concern on its own. “Rather than being led by an overriding voice, we can practise a kind of inner democracy by listening to other parts of ourselves that soften extreme opinions and open us to creative possibilities.”

Rejections are part of the publishing business. It happens in every stage of the publishing process. When a story you’ve poured your energy and love into doesn’t get the agent or the publisher, it’s hard not feel like a failure. The more rejections a writer gets can play heavily on the mind and lead to self-doubt, especially when it’s recurring. 

Schorr agrees and says, “For most of us, rejections do come before goals are achieved, but they don't stop there. Most authors don't sell that first book and then have smooth sailing for the rest of their publishing careers. The self-doubt doesn't go away when you sell your first book because there are trade reviews, reader reviews, sales, new book contracts to think about, and when things don't go your way, it can be soul-crushing!”

It’s tough to share your art because there’s always going to be negative reactions.

“Writing is incredibly personal, and thicker skin is developed over the years, it's still hard to accept that something you love with all your heart may not be appreciated by others,” says Patel. “I think self-doubt plays heavily on any artist's mind, not only authors. Reading, and most art, is subjective. There is no way to ensure your work is "good" because there is no standard for what is good. There will be doubt.”

And when there’s doubt, Schorr says she tries to kill her demons from the inside out by focusing on the joy of writing, or they will always be there. “It's the only thing in my control,” she says. “I also try not to focus on what I deem a "failure" in the past and, instead, focus on what happens next and the steps I need to get to the next level. If I want to publish another book, I need to write it! I also try not to compare myself to others, but that is a daily struggle.”

Creatives will experience self-doubt. It’s art. It’s a personal creation that is shared with others. 

“It's impossible to avoid self-doubt entirely,” says Patel. “Especially during the drafting process when you're finding the story and figuring out what works. Slowly, as it grows and gets polished, you become sure of what you've written and why you want it out in the world. In my case, I lean on my author-friends who are willing to hype me up and remind me of everything I've achieved thus far. It's essential, in my opinion, to find your cheerleaders.” 

So, how can someone feel good about themselves when art is subjective?

Wideman says, “Feeling good can come from many sources. It’s worth pausing to notice what you are giving power to when it comes to your sense of goodness. Art’s subjectivity invites us to root our sense of goodness not in external approval or consensus, but in a reflective relationship with our values and their impact.”

Wideman suggests building on the idea of responsiveness.

“You might ask: Is there an inner tuning fork that feels aligned with your art-making? Or is your work primarily in service to external sources of validation, like the systems that tell you what is in or out? These systems often uphold a privileged status quo that bypasses deeper questions of meaning, responsibility, and whose voices are being amplified or left out.”

There’s a level of joy in making art and seeing the end result; however, the experience can bring  mixed emotions. 

“Sometimes you feel good, and sometimes you feel really awful,” says Wideman. “When we focus only on art as a final product, we miss what the process itself offers to the life of the artist. And in the end, even if your art isn’t “good,” you are still okay.”

Working on self-doubt, Schorr says it’s important to enjoy the writing process. “Make sure you're passionate about what you're writing, even while keeping the market in mind. No matter what happens with a book, you don't want to look back on the months you spent writing it and recall hating every second. I've had books die on submission or not get green-lit by my agent, but because I loved almost every second of the writing process, it wasn't time wasted.”  

Success can be measured in different ways. Some might say money, material things, or prominence in the world. How can someone measure their own success?

Wideman says, “It is understandable that we desire validation. It can feel deeply affirming when we have access to systems that reward us, when things line up, and success is mirrored back to us. But when they don’t, we may find we’ve handed the outside world the authority to determine our value on the inside.” Wideman explains that if we allow the final judge of whether we are successful or not, we give away our power to something that was never designed to hold our humanity.

She suggests a writer may ask: How am I responding to my life with awareness? Am I taking responsibility for the stories I choose to tell and how I tell them? Am I listening to what wants to be expressed through my writing, rather than only to what is most likely to be rewarded? How do I feel about how I’ve responded to the creative call of my life?

Answering these questions, Wideman says, “When success is measured this way, it becomes less dependent on external validation, which often privileges particular versions of creativity over others. Even if the world has not deemed you successful by its standards, you still have your inner compass: your values, choices, freedom, and awareness. From that place of orientation, you’re not proving your worth -- you’re living from it.”

Allowing your art to be shared is a beautiful gift. It’s an expression, it’s a deep yearning to create something that means something special to you. If you choose to make and share your art, it’s an accomplishment.

Patel says an author’s accomplishments are enough. 

“I understand that saying that doesn't change how you feel, but I'll say it anyway. If it's the best you can do, it's enough. Whether you're writing 200 words a day or 2000. It's your best, and your best will always be enough because writing isn't about anyone else. It's about you.”

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Tracy Wideman is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) and Certified Canadian Counsellor (CCC) with a private practice in Vancouver, BC. https://www.tracywideman.com/

Shameez Patel https://www.shameezwrites.com/

Her newest romcom, Next Level Love. When two people find out their online crushes are actually their IRL enemies, they must figure out a way to work with each other in this charming and geeky enemies-to-lovers romcom perfect for fans of Olivia Dade.

​Meredith Schorr, https://meredithschorr.com/ 

Room Mating, Sizzling chemistry and tender friendship develops between two accidental roommates in this hilarious rom-com. For fans of Lynn Painter and Falon Ballard.